Well, my first question is…WTF? Why am I being held captive on an island? Where is freaking Gilligan and the professor? More importantly WHERE IS THE RUM?
Okay, now that I’ve settled down, I need to give my captors my list of five foods that I would like. I have no idea why they are giving me food, or options. Apparently they want me to survive, but they also want me to squirm which means that either they are waiting for ransom money or I am part of a larger government conspiracy….or I landed in an episode of Lost.
Back to foods. I have no idea if water counts as a food, or if they plan on supplying that but I am going to put it on the list anyway:
1) Water. Lots of water
2) Live chickens (fully grown please) chickens lay eggs every day, which will supply me with protein.
3) Avocado: Full of fats and amino acids…plus they are tasty.
4) Starchy veggies: Potatoes, Corn, etc. The starchier the veggie, the more full you feel
5) Rum. Lots of rum. Gotta be Captain though.
So there ya go. I have no idea how long I am going to survive on this diet, but if I die, at least the rum will have made me happy.